I just finished studying for one of my finals, for my favorite class this quarter actually, and there are so many thoughts swimming through my mind now, I can’t sit still.
Sometimes, when an animal bites me, I bite the animal back. I was the privileged, brief owner of two beautiful bunny rabbits last fall – the most wonderful bunnies ever, Lady Macbeth and King Richard, who are now hopefully happy in their forever home – and I had no prior experience with bunnies… I took them to the vet and picked up all the pamphlets, and researched rabbits online extensively… and called our local bunny shelter with questions at least once a week. They were pretty unruly rabbits, but I really felt as if they grew so affectionate for me, and I worried about them and loved them as if they were my children. But when King would bite me, I would bite him right back. On the ear or on the back of his neck. I was never really deserving of the bite; I think he would just do it out of fear. So I guess I just bit him back to tell him, yes, I can bite too, but I don’t want to hurt you.
I never really thought about it until I read We Are All Completely Beside Ourselves, in which Rosemary describes how her instinctive route to express her displeasure was to bite someone. I have always been a biter – I actually have a stick ‘n’ poke of fangs under my ear because of it – but I surprised myself when my first instinct to King’s strong bunny teeth was to show him my strong human teeth. Because when I was with those bunnies (just like when I was with my dog, my cats, the horses) I knew that they were listening to me, that they understood me, and so I would tell them about my day, and ask them about theirs. I have always hated the language barrier between myself and the animals, but now I’m not so sure I need to.
Harvey’s description of the communication between animals and people, animals and plants, people and stones, stones and the elements, in the context of an animistic worldview, is enlightening. He describes the ways in which language as humans perceive language is really just a way that our tongues have learned to bend the wind. This is fascinating to me. Especially as an aspiring English teacher. There is communication between all things – something I have heard so many times and never understood.
I confess I still don’t understand. What I know is that I need to get out of here. I want to experience the world and find my forever home. I want to be able to understand the wind and what it is telling me about the rest of things. I want to understand when the bird is chirping to chirp, and when the bird is singing for a mate. I want to be able to distinguish between the rustle of different leaves and sit with a tree for days, exchanging wisdom and hearing the tree’s ancient breath.
I am hyper-aware how nonsensical this sounds to so many. But to me, there is an undeniable connection between all living things, and insisting on denying it will do us serious harm. Within that connection lies the meaning of my life. I want to know. Can you show me?
be all that you are 